You might be in the wrong ecosystem.
I’m coming from Hubitat, and while I respect the platform, their Matter implementation feels late and, for me, somewhat awkward. About a year ago I decided to migrate from Hubitat to Apple Home.
Today I’m running 2 Apple TVs, 2 HomePods and 1 HomePod mini, all acting as Thread Border Routers within the same Thread fabric. If one device fails (even when physically unplugged), another one takes over seamlessly, without any user interaction. In my setup, the Thread network is rock solid.
Regarding Matter, I only use certified devices from vendors like Bosch, Eve, IKEA, and a few others. I did encounter some pairing issues initially, but those were mostly caused by poor or unclear documentation, not by Matter itself.
A good example is the Bosch TRV [+M]. It can be paired either:
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via Zigbee to the Bosch controller (green LED), or
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as Matter over Thread to a Border Router (blue LED).
That sounds simple, but I had to search for quite a while to understand that the initial pairing requires a deep pairing mode: pressing and holding the button until it blinks blue, then pressing it once again. Once I did that, it worked flawlessly.
Apart from that, pairing is straightforward: scan the QR code, name the device, select a room — done. Once paired, the devices have been very reliable for me.
Apple Home may look limited at first glance, but once you understand the right approach and use the right companion apps, it becomes quite powerful. Not as powerful as Homey, and not as flexible as Advanced Flows — but more than good enough for daily use.
For lighting, I rely on Philips Hue. My goal with Homey is therefore to sit on top, integrating Apple Home and Hue devices to enable more advanced automations, while still keeping a fallback: if Homey fails, the smart home may be slightly degraded, but it remains fully functional.